At this point, I started to be more interested in having a ritualistic quality in my performance. Not to appropriate existing rituals or take elements of it to make a show, but to aim for the qualities of ritual that are relevant to my current condition, as a process to find another approach to work with the body.

I made this performance exactly 2 years after my father’s passing, after the confusion that I felt since his death by COVID-19. Because I cannot see his death, and not being able to deliver him to the cemetery because I also got COVID-19, I made this long-duration and distance performance, a walking pilgrimage to recreate the process of delivering, where I carried a part of his frangipani tree from his house in Cibubur to Rorotan Cemetery, a COVID-19 burial site where my father is laid to rest.

I consciously bring Jakarta as the place of the artwork to see the pandemic as a phenomenon that brings both personal and collective grief. For me, walking became an act of work with grief as a momentum of movement, also as a resistance against the unresting-accelerating pace in my previous hometown, Jakarta, a place that does not have anymore space for the people to process grief and emotion.